"Tom was so excited about the book that he couldn't help himself... he went to the Amazon book review site. It's a site where readers review books they've read. So this one woman from Texas loved the book. Says she laughed out loud many times. She gave the book 5 stars. Tom was thrilled. Out of curiosity, he checked to see what she thought of other books she read. Tom saw that she read and critiqued "Catcher in the Rye." She gave that 4 stars. Tom's book got 5 stars. We got a real classic on our hands."

"I was captain of my college baseball team; he was a male cheerleader. I was a war hero; he was a draft dodger. I was a respected world leader; he's a buffoon. Is it any wonder the dope doesn't believe in evolution?" —George H. W. Bush, former president

"During the Russian summit, instead of "Hail to the Chief," President Bush ordered the military band to play "Bad to the Bone" as he entered. The president actually gets many of his ideas from pro wrestling." —Condoleezza Rice, secretary of state