Q & A with Nigel Marsh

Fat, Forty, and Fired: One Man's Frank, Funny, and Inspiring Account of Losing His Job and Finding His Life

At what point did you decide to write the book?

I had just turned 40, lost my job, and been to the hospital for an embarrassing operation. While recovering at home I read a book that contained a quote from a 5th century mystic that simply said, "Pause for a moment you wretched weakling and take stock of your miserable existence." I did—and decided to attempt to change my life. It was at this stage that I thought it might make a story worth writing: precisely because I haven't won the Tour de France six times, conquered cancer, or hopped up Everest on one leg. I'm just an average guy struggling to provide for his wife and four kids who was Fat, Forty and Fired.

What was your greatest challenge in writing it?

Keeping my promise to myself to be honest. I realized that most of the men that I knew then, in particular businessmen, talked rubbish—all the time, to everyone, about everything. They were never truly honest about their feelings. This meant that wives, girlfriends, bosses, friends, colleagues, customers, and family rarely got the real man; instead they got the pretend man. Well, I promised myself I would stop pretending. Stop pretending I believed things I didn't, and stop pretending I didn't believe things that I did. This necessarily made the book challenging to write as it meant I had to write what I really thought about sex in marriage, work/life balance, or weight loss (for example), as opposed to the usual bollocks many spout. It also meant I had to face up to making myself look bad, as I am as far from perfect as it's possible to get.

What was the most difficult part of your decision to take a year off?

The financial terror of having no idea how I was going to provide for my family when it was over. I also had to face up to the fact that for many men your identity is inextricably bound up with your job/career. This can make suddenly having no job or career doubly challenging.

Do you have any regrets about taking the time?

Only that I didn't do it earlier. I spent too many years eating too much, drinking too much, working too hard, and neglecting my family. I'm ashamed that it took me losing my job to make me attend to what's important in life.

How did the children react to your return to work?

They were fantastic. One of the wonderful things about my time off was it enabled me to connect with my kids in a way that has permanently improved our relationship. I like to think the benefits won't fade, whatever I do in the future.

How does Kate feel about your progress in the work/life balance department at this point?

It's a mixed bag, to be honest. I had such high hopes when I went back to work. To take one example: Before I started working again, I nominated Wednesday as "Date Night." This was the day every week when Kate and I would go out on a date together. I canceled the first 12 in a row. Marvelous. It's gotten better over time, however. I now realize that having a good work/life balance doesn't mean having it all—to me it means making intelligent choices.

Do you think that working mothers face the same challenges of balance that fathers do? Are there challenges unique to fathers?

I feel women have it far, far harder. Having said that, I don't think it's a walk in the park for men either. So many people have written to me saying they basically lead lives of quiet, screaming, desperation—lives spent working hard at jobs they hate, to buy things they don't need, to impress people they don't like. Many years ago, Socrates said, "The unexamined life is not worth living." He had a point—at the end of the day, whether you are a man or a woman, we are all earthlings and we face the same core challenge of how to use the brief privilege of consciousness well before our time is up.

Do you think it is necessary to take the year off to regroup and reassess one's position in life?

No. I think for many it would be an extremely irresponsible, unnecessary, or damaging thing to do. For others it can be precisely what's needed. I think the term "year off" may not be the right one. Many times a change is needed to aid proper reflection. That change needn't mean sitting on a beach and doing nothing.

Do you think you'll ever take another year off?

I hope so! But again, as above, the last one was hardly a year "off," more like a year "on." In that year I've never been busier—I wrote a book, taught myself to swim, gave up booze, got fit, lost 3 stone in weight, learned to be a proper father and husband ... the list goes on. If the question is, do I think I will ever take a year off from being a full-time, one-dimensional office worker? Then the answer is absolutely, unequivocally, YES.

How have people responded to the book? What kind of feedback have you had?

It's been overwhelming, to be honest. I've now had more than 900 letters and e-mails. From all ages, male and female. People have been very generous and kind with their comments. The common thing is people saying it is inspirational, which is wonderful feedback but also a little weird as I wasn't trying to be anything other than funny and honest. For other people to get something more from the book than I intended is a lovely bonus.

Do you see another book in your future?

Yes. I've been signed up to write two more. I'm currently 50,000 words into the next one, which is titled Stop Moaning and Eat Less You Fat Bastard.

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To contact the author, go to www.fatfortyandfired.com.

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Contact: Kathy Hilliard, Publicity Director, (800) 851-8923, ext. 7497, khilliard@amuniversal.com

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Fat, Forty, and Fired

Author: Nigel Marsh
ISBN-13: 978-0-7407-6433-2
ISBN-10: 0-7407-6433-0
Format: Hardcover: 6 x 9, 288 pages
Price: $19.95 ($24.95 Canada)