"Never argue with a six-year-old who shaves."

"Questions I know the answer to I don't need to ask, right?"

"There's an inverse relationship between how good something is for you, and how much fun it is!"

"There's no problem so awful that you can't add some guilt to it and make it even worse."

"I've got plenty of common sense! I just choose to ignore it."

"There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want."